Keep Calm and Tame Your Toddler's Tantrums

August 28, 2023

If you have a toddler, chances are you’ve seen your child laughing and playing happily with a friend in one moment, and the next they’ll be screaming and kicking their legs in the air like a firework display gone wrong. Well, you’re not alone. Children have an amazing ability to go from happy to hysterical in under a minute.

A toddler’s temper tantrum is a sudden outburst of anger or frustration that lasts for a few minutes or longer. Tantrums usually start around the age of 2 and last until the child reaches school age. Yes, it’s called the “terrible twos” for a reason!

While they can be frustrating, temper tantrums are actually a normal part of growing up. Don’t worry — your child will eventually grow out of them!

How to Handle Toddler Tantrums

Tantrums are typically caused by something that is frustrating or upsetting for a child — whether it be something physical (too hot or too cold) or emotional (being tired or hungry). There may be an underlying medical condition that is triggering these episodes as well (e.g., allergies).

Although it can be difficult to handle, with a little patience, you can tame your toddler’s tantrums. These are six steps you can do to make them less frequent and less intense:

  1. Stay Calm. The first step is always important. Before calming your child, you have to first calm yourself. Respond with a soft and soothing voice. Don’t try to argue with them because they can’t be reasoned with in the middle of their tantrums, and yelling only makes your child scream louder.
  2. Calming Corner. Provide a safe area for them to express their emotions and keep them out of harm’s way. If tantrums happen in public, bring them to a place where they can feel comfortable (e.g., in the car). You can give them toys or plushies that can calm them down.
  3. Name Feelings. Practice using words to help your child express and say their feelings. Ask them how strong the feeling is (use a scale from 1–5 to make it easier).
  4. Coping Method. Teach your child ways to cope and let them choose a coping method (e.g., count backwards, drink a glass of water, take deep breaths, etc.).
  5. Set Routines. Your toddler is a creature of habit. Any slight change in their nap time or mealtime is enough to upset them. Be sure to keep regular routines and let them know about routine change (e.g., a trip to the doctor).
  6. Be A Good Listener. Sometimes, the best way to help your child cope with their feelings is just to listen to them. Ask what’s wrong and acknowledge their feelings. Don’t forget to praise your child when they can calm down by themselves.

The best way to prevent tantrums from happening as often as they do is to give your child plenty of love and attention. However, be consistent about the rules and don’t give in to their demands often. If having a tantrum will win them a longer stay at the playground, your child will surely throw a fit each time. On the other hand, if you stick with the rules, your child will learn that kicking and hitting aren’t the right ways to get what they want. Being consistent is the key to helping kids feel safe and in control of their lives.


written by Shandy Lwieka,
Tutor Time Indonesia


Source: Aggressive Behavior in Toddlers – ZERO TO THREE

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All comments (2)
  • Teknik Industri
    January 03, 2024 at 12:04 am

    Could you share examples of how consistent rules contribute to creating a sense of safety and control for toddlers? greeting: Tel U

  • Telkom University
    July 16, 2024 at 10:04 am

    Thank you very much for the content created! Visit Us Visit Us Visit Us


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