School success is more than grades and tests. The skills that help children handle feelings, make friends, and solve problems (called social-emotional skills) matter just as much.
When children feel upset, excited, nervous, or proud, how do they understand those feelings? And how do they learn to express them, manage them, and respond to others?
This is where Social-Emotional Learning, often called SEL, comes in.
So… what exactly is SEL?
Social-Emotional Learning is the process through which children learn to:
- Understand their own feelings
- Manage emotions in healthy ways
- Build relationships with others
- Make thoughtful, responsible choices
In simple terms, social-emotional skills are the ability to recognize and manage feelings, get along with others, solve problems, and make smart choices. These are the building blocks for friendships, confidence, and even better learning at school.
When does social-emotional learning begin?
Much earlier than many people think.
From infancy, children begin responding to faces, voices, and emotional cues. Over time, they start recognizing emotions, expressing needs, and reacting to how others feel. These early interactions lay the foundation for later skills like empathy, cooperation, and self-control.
SEL doesn’t suddenly start at school age, it develops gradually from the earliest years.
What does SEL look like in everyday childhood?
SEL doesn’t look like a “lesson.” It looks like:
- A child learning to wait for a turn
- Expressing frustration with words instead of actions
- Noticing a friend is sad and offering comfort
- Asking for help instead of giving up
- Trying again after making a mistake
Why is SEL important for young children?
Social-emotional skills help children:
- Feel safe and confident
- Build positive relationships
- Adjust to routines and transitions
- Engage more fully in learning
Research shows that teaching social-emotional skills improves behavior, relationships, and yes, school performance too. SEL programs studied in schools produce measurable gains in skills and academic achievement.
Common myth: SEL is “just feelings”
Not true. Feelings are part of SEL, but SEL is also problem-solving, relationship skills, and decision-making — practical tools children use every day. The Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL) framework groups these skills so teachers and parents can intentionally practice them.
What role do parents play in SEL?
Parents are a child’s first and most important SEL teachers. Children learn social-emotional skills when adults:
- Name and acknowledge feelings
- Model calm responses
- Listen without rushing to fix
- Offer comfort, structure, and guidance
Daily interactions, conversations, play, routines naturally support SEL when handled with awareness and care.
A gentle reminder for parents
You don’t need to be perfect. Small, consistent moments add up. Starting early, naming feelings, letting kids make tiny choices, and giving them tools to calm down will help them grow into empathetic, confident learners, and that helps everywhere: home, school, and life.
Source: What Are Social-Emotional Skills? | Child Development Skills (pathways.org)
written by Shandy Lwieka,
Tutor Time Indonesia
